In 2007, I was blessed to be able to go to Israel with our church group and it changed my life, spiritually and in every way! This year, 2008, I was unable to go to Israel, but I was very blessed to be asked by the pastor to cater their reunion supper.

I initially declined because although I love to cook, I felt I lacked the experience to actually cater a meal for 35 (and take care of all the details related including decorating and presentation.)

Our 20 year old daughter Rachel, jumped in and offered her expert services. Rachel has been working in food services, specifically in catering, presentation, decorations and maintaining the buffet line for the Billy Graham Training Center at the Cove. Rachel completed the necessary gifts and talents to make this work. We each had our jobs, I handled the food; menu, shopping, preparation, cooking and Rachel handled the table decorations, buffet setup, presentation and maintaining the buffet.

In addition, my husband Tim and 2 younger children Micah and Esther Ruth had their responsibilites. Tim is the chief dishwasher at our home and as I cooked on a large scale, he was there to clean up the mess. WHAT A BLESSING!!! Tim washed all the dishes (including the large chafing dishes!) after the meal.

Micah opened the celebration (after an introduction by Pastor Jim) by blowing the shofar. Esther Ruth brought smiles by leading the group in singing the familiar “Shabbat Shalom” song. And afterwards, they helped break down the decorations, dishes and tables and helped dry and put away the materials. It was a family affair!!

Here are some of the lovely memories we have of that night:

Before 7-07                                                                      Christmas 2007

As I lay in the hospital bed in the Bone Marrow Transplant Unit, my body torn by such pain as I have never known and the prognosis so grim – Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia – my thoughts continually went to Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. In fact, as I went in and out of consciousness, in the times I was clear-headed and every time in between, the scene at the Garden of Gethsemane was constantly in my mind’s eye. The picture never left me; it was if I was personally observing Jesus in the Garden.

Matthew 26:39 KJV
39 And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.

There is a whole life lesson in that one sentence. As I said, whether my eyes were open or closed, I felt I was watching Jesus, seeing Him bent over in agony in the Garden, praying with all of His strength to His Father. Jesus knew what was ahead and He sorrowed. He knew that He was facing His horrible death on the Cross and He was torn in agony. He asked the Father if it were possible to let the cup of suffering pass from Him.

As I lay there in my hospital bed, faced with cancer and an unknown outcome, crying and praying, I too sorrowed. I agonized for my husband of then 22 years and my 4 living children, the youngest being the tender age of 4. I could hardly breathe when I would think of my babies growing up without their Mommy and my husband going on alone without me.

As the doctors routinely laid out their plan for my treatment, making sure to always let me know that death was a very real possibility, even death from the medicines designed to help me, I found myself praying the same prayer that Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane. I prayed “Father, if it be Your will, please let this cup of suffering and death pass from me.”

Jesus did not stop there with that part though, as the next breath of His prayer holds the lesson and true picture of our Master and King in His earthly mission. Jesus prayed …”Nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.”

I knew that was the next step to my prayer, but I was stuck at “Father, please take this cup from me.”

My dilemma was how to get from “Father, please let this cup pass from me…” to “Not my will, but whatever YOU will.”

I was afraid, I admit it. I did not want to die just yet. I had more to do for my family and for G-d. While I longed to be out of the horrible pain and out of this life with its troubles, trials and temptations and finally rest in the safe arms of Jesus and see our son Benjamin, I begged G-d to let me live. I was not afraid of death, for I knew I would be in the presence of Jesus, I was just not ready to go then and leave my beloved family and all that I knew and loved.

Every day, for those 5 weeks in the hospital, I prayed Jesus’ Garden prayer, but I could not go past the “let this cup pass from me.”

As I underwent chemotherapy and had a life-threatening reaction to the medicine and I still remained alive, even coming close to death 5 separate times and the doctors amazed that I did not die those times, I thanked the Father for letting the cup of death pass from me. But, I knew I needed to go deeper. I asked Him to help me get to the second part of Jesus’ prayer.

Slowly, I began to realize that I could not do it on my own, I would need the help of the Holy Spirit to TRULY (not just in words) lay my life down into the hands of the L-rd and trust Him to take me or let me live. I had said the words for almost 30 years. “Oh yeah, L-rd, I give you my life.” But, when it came right down to my LIFE, really living or dying, it was a different story.

Over the next 18 months of my chemotherapy with its painful and long processes, setbacks and challenges and yet overcoming them and continuing to hang on and to respond to the treatments, I felt more and more that G-d was letting me live and answering my prayer. But, I still longed to be able to truly trust enough to let HIS will prevail, not mine.

About 2 1/2 years after my cancer diagnosis and about 11 months after my last chemo treatment, I had another real cancer scare. This first possibility of a re-occurrence of cancer truly floored me and I was afraid that I would die again. It was as if I was back at square one.

As I faced this latest challenge of my faith in the L-rd, the Holy Spirit gently reminded me that I had not ever crossed that bridge in my trust for my life or truly handed it over to G-d. I was still at “Take this cup” and not at, “Not my will, but Yours be done.” I knew it was time.

So, I bowed in prayer and asked the Holy Spirit to help me REALLY mean it. He let me know that Jesus loved my family more than I ever could. He loved my precious children and my sweet husband. And, IF, His will was to take me home, He would take care of my family. I was not to worry. Of course, I still prayed IF it was His will for the cup of death to pass from me, but this time, I said the words that Jesus prayed as He submitted to the Father…“Nevertheless, not my will, but YOURS be done.” I spoke out the confession that I trusted G-d for His will in my life and for my life.

I received the joyous report that it was NOT cancer this time. I was elated of course and so deeply thankful that the cup of death had once again passed from me.

In February 2007, I went with our church group to Israel. What a life-changing experience! The Bible came alive!! I was hesitant but at the same time anxious to visit the Garden of Gethsemane. I felt as if I had been there before, but I could not wait to see it in real life, to touch the trees, to walk on the paths, to see what Jesus saw. I just knew that nestled beneath the Mount of Olives was the place, the garden, the haven that Jesus chose to pour His heart out in prayer with His Father. What a special place to be actually walking in! Gethsemane means “oil press” and what a picture of Jesus and the pressure He felt!

Mark 14:
32 And they went to a place called Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33 And he took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled. 34 And he said to them “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch.” 35And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.

As we entered the Garden, the pictures came back to my mind of how I viewed it and Jesus in it from my hospital bed. Here it was, in real life! The gigantic, twisted olive trees, some thousands of years old and shoots of trees thousands of years old provided a canopy, a shade, a protection of sorts. I imagined that in Jesus’ time, the trees, their beauty and majesty and the gentle calm of the surroundings were a balm to Jesus’ troubled heart. Here was a place where He could commune with the Father.

However, according to Scripture, the prayers were so intense and His soul was “sorrowful”, He was “greatly distressed and troubled.” Jesus looked ahead to His death on the Cross and all that had to take place before that event.

In Luke 22 we read:
43 And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. 44And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

Jesus, the Son of Man, who was fully G-d and fully Man prayed and emptied Himself of His humanity, choosing to submit Himself to the will of G-d the Father.

Standing there in the Garden, I could not move. As the group walked on, I stood there, staring at the trees, tears in my eyes for the magnitude of what transpired here and how that affected each and every one of us, and especially myself.

As I stood there drinking in the emotions of this knowledge right here in this Garden, the actual place where Jesus agonized, it came alive to me once again. There under the gnarled olive trees, in the darkness of the night where Jesus surrendered His will to the will of the Father and CHOSE to go to the Cross for us. Because of His submission, we all could be born-again and be reconciled to the Father for eternity. Because of that surrender all our sins were paid for on Calvary.

Here in that very garden, I could palpate the presence of Jesus who gave up His life, willingly, but not without angst and struggle. To think of Jesus feeling those emotions and YET, surrendering His will and by His own choosing, becoming the sacrifice Lamb for us show that He has felt all that we feel. He can understand our angst, our pulling to go to Him or stay with our loved ones. He understands our deepest cries and agonies in this life, for He was experienced them all, more than we could ever experience. He understands our feelings, our “distressed and troubled soul” for He has had to feel it before us. And YET, He gave Himself over to the Father, right there in that garden, right where I was standing. I remembered what the Word says about Jesus understanding our agonies:

Hebrews 4:
14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

1 John 5
14 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us.

Philippians 1
21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. 24But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.

Could I do any less than trust Him with my life and the life of my loved ones?

Can you?

© 2007 Vickilynn Haycraft
All Rights Reserved

In the days following my return from Israel, I have thought of little else. How alive that land is with G-d’s presence and His Word. In the places we walked, one could almost feel Jesus among us and see where He Himself walked and ministered. It truly is the “Holy Land.” While we born-gain Believers in Jesus have the Holy Spirit living within us and we experience G-d’s presence any place, the land where most of the Bible actually happened seems to me to hold His presence that is evident and even palpable.

One of my favorite experiences was when Pastor Jimmy took us to the edge of the Sea of Galilee one warm afternoon. It was the last stop for the day, a day that had been filled with activity and learning. I sensed an immediate sense of peace when we walked along the shores of the Galilee, watching the water in its gentle movement. The sun was low over the water and the sky had pale streaks of orange heralding the coming sunset.

We all sat down on the small rocks of the shore facing the water. Pastor Jimmy opened the Word and began to teach. I closed my eyes and pictured the men on the sea in their boat trying to fish after Jesus’ crucifixion. I could almost feel their despair and confusion as they tried hard to understand what had happened before their eyes. They went back to what they knew – fishing on the Sea of Galilee.

The Scriptures came alive to us as we placed ourselves in what it must have been for Peter to look from the boat on the Sea of Galilee to see Jesus on the shore, right where we were sitting. The lesson I took away from that time is the lesson of being restored to fellowship with Jesus if we fail. Like Peter, many times I do fail and say the wrong thing at the wrong time or allow my fear to keep me from victoriously standing up and claming Jesus. Many times, I stay quiet. And like Peter, I need to come to Jesus with open arms and ask forgiveness, knowing that He will not only forgive but restore. And with that restoration comes strength to speak up the NEXT time. Just look at Peter! I confessed my human failings to Jesus while sitting on the shore of Galilee, and I could imagine those precious disciples sitting around the fire that Jesus made, eating the fish that Jesus caught and drinking in His forgiveness, love and restoration as well as the strength to go out and be His witnesses!

We then gathered small stones from the shore and tiny shells to remind us that when we blow it, as Peter did, there is forgiveness and restoration awaiting us if we but come humbly and ask our L-rd. I also gathered some of the water there at the Sea of Galilee since I enjoyed that area so much. I am reminded that Jesus spent a great deal of time there in this area that He loved so much.

Oh, there is so much to tell you my friends about our trip to Israel. I am trying to write some every little bit while it is fresh on my heart and the lessons that the Holy Spirit has shown me are still burning with excitement in my spirit.

What I wanted to say to you is “THANK YOU.”

Thank you for giving from your heart to allow this born-gain Jew to visit Israel as an answer to a life-long dream and fervent prayer since becoming a Christian 30 years ago. There was no physical way this could have happened except that our gracious L-rd moved in your hearts to make it happen through your prayers and your giving.

I want you all to know that you were and are the hands of Jesus in sending me to the Holy Land. I know that this came from Him and He spoke to your hearts about making this happen. G-d bless you for your sacrificial prayers and offerings on this mission. G-d has truly used you and I know He will bless you mightily!!

I am writing about my trip, little by little, as the L-rd leads, on my blog. If you go there and nothing new is up, please check back in a few days.

http://www.realfoodliving.wordpress.com

As I close this letter of gratitude, I can’t express adequately how much I appreciate what you’ve done for the L-rd Jesus and myself by sending me to Israel. I have a new determination and new vision to live, breathe and have my being for Jesus and a new power to share that love with the lost and dying.

Thank you dear friends, thank you in Messiah Yeshua, your L-rd!!

~~Your Grateful Sister In Messiah,

Vickilynn Haycraft

Micah 6:8

Shalom,

Finally home. Israel was wonderful, but it went by way too fast.

While I was in Israel, my younger children became sick with an intestinal virus and had to be hospitalized for dehydration. My oldest daughter at college was diagnosed with mono and has been flat on her back most of the time. My oldest son came home to his apartment in the city and interrupted a burglar and they had a physical altercation, but my son was not seriously hurt, just banged up. My poor husband held everything together but was totally exhausted and anxious for me to come home.

On Friday morning, we left Jerusalem and flew for about 13 hours. We arrived in Newark and about 4 hours later, we boarded the flight into Atlanta (about 3 hours). From there, we drove to the hospital (about a 5 hour drive with stops) where I found my 2 little ones, in hospital rooms next to each other, and my very tired husband.

I sent Tim home to shower and sleep and over the next 12 hours I went back and forth between the 2 rooms to sit with my darlings. They napped some during this time and I was able to close my eyes and reflect a bit on my time in Israel. I have so much I want to say, so much the L-rd has shown me in those days, so much He is speaking to me, but with all the activity going on with the family, Israel will have to wait.

Sunday afternoon, the children were well enough to come home and last night (Sunday), we all fell into our beds and slept.

Today, (Monday) will be a day of rest.

As I get the pictures from my camera and my tour-mates, I will post them.

More later…

~~In Messiah,

Vickilynn

Micah 6:8

We have been seeing so many things that it all becoming a blur! LOL! I believe it will not truly sink in until I get home and sort out some pictures.

Today was a special day for me. Among our sites we visited the original Via Dolorosa (Way of Sorrows) the street where Jesus walked carrying His cross. This pavement is 20 feet below the other Via Dolorosa, the more modern one. Here, beneath the city, where a convent was built over top, the air was cool and dry and we walked along narrow passways that had been excavated to reveal the original stones of the chariot path. We all sat or stood on the stones while Pastor Jimmy read the Scriptures that reminded us how much Jesus suffered before He was crucified.

After the Scripture was read, I sang the song “Via Dolorosa” with lovely background track. Unfortunately, I choked up and had to stop and start again. My mind had gone blank and I could not remember the next word! Ack! A singer’s biggest nightmare!

The good thing is, it was an informal time and the music director simply rewound the track and I started again, and this time, I remembered the words. It was a special song in a very special place. How many people get to actually sing “Via Dolorosa” ON the Via Dolorosa? Few I would imagine. I am very blessed.

I do have some pictures to share and more will be coming once I get home.

This picture is sunrise on the Sea of Galilee, where Jesus spent so much of His time.

It has been a dizzying few days. The last time I posted, I was getting ready to go to Atlanta to begin the first leg of my trip to Israel.

I will quickly post this, but I hope to get online and post in more detail with pictures to boot.

We spent a comfortable night in a hotel in Atlanta and in the morning boarded our plane for our Newark, NJ connection. Because our flight was an international one, we experienced the security measures put in place to protect us from danger. While I do appreciate the measures and I know they do help to ensure my safety, I will share honestly that it was a stressful and uncomfortable process.

However, that part was over quickly and I did not pass out from the anxiety, although I thought that I would J

The flight to Newark was uneventful and very short. Our group disembarked from the plane and we had a few hours to kill before our connecting flight to Israel, so we found a restaurant and shared a very enjoyable meal together.

Soon it was time to board the aircraft and get our seats. That was an ordeal!! The plane was overbooked and packed to the gills. There was quite a bit of delay due to seat-switching (more on that later) and then we had to remain on the tarmac for over and hour in line to take off.

Then, we are in the air and leaving the United States. 10 ½ hours later, we arrived in Tel Aviv (at 10 AM the day after we left). No time for rest or showers or even checking into our room to drop off the luggage! It was on to the bus and off we went.

I need to go back and review my itinerary to tell you the fabulous places we have been and we have seen, but yesterday we went to gorgeous Caesarea and today I was baptized in the Jordan River. Our hotel overlooks the Sea of Galilee and I have been basking in the beauty and lights of the sea. This morning at sunrise I watched a lone canoeist cut across the water with the early morning haze surrounding him.

This evening at the hotel, we were blessed with a sumptuous Shabbat supper and then we gathered in an upstairs meeting room for singing and sharing. Oh, what a wonderful time in the L-rd and in the church family!

Right now it is 10 PM and I am hastily typing this so I can shower and get to bed because the 6 AM wakeup call comes very quickly it seems.

Tomorrow is another day in this wonderful, magical, mystical, historical and diverse land of Yeshua and His word.

Shalom and goodnight!!

My bags are packed. I should say more accurately that my bags are busting at the seams and I had to lay on them to get them closed and I hope they pass check-in and… and… and…

My husband wanted me to take our camping water filter in case the plane crashed and we found ourselves without any clean water in the desert. Yes, my husband really said that!

The children are excited, but fearful that they will miss me so much they will cry. Especially the 7 year old. She remembers not too long ago when I went for a “routine” visit to the doctor one day and did not return for 5 weeks because I was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia and during that 5 weeks in the hospital, there were multiple times they thought I would not make it out alive.

Thanks be to G-d, He allowed me to come out alive and now to be in full remission! However, my little ones still get concerned when I leave, thinking I might not come back again. So, we are praying for comfort and peace while I’m gone.

My husband has some pretty neat activities planned for the children to keep their minds off the fact that Momma is not home!

So, here I sit, all ready to go and meet my ride down to Atlanta. It is about a 4 1/2 hour car ride from here to the hotel and where all 24 of us will eventually come this evening so we can be awake for the early morning airport call.

I don’t know exactly what I feel right now, many things are swimming around my head and spirit. I am excited beyond words. Going to Israel is a lifetime dream for me and my family because we are Jewish. I know this trip would have made my dad (who passed away last year) very happy. He wanted to go to Israel his whole life. I am a little fearful, not knowing what to expect or if I will react the way I hope I will. I know it is a life-changing experience and I want to be open to be changed! But, what if I don’t feel what others are feeling? Will I be able to see what’s truly there in the Holy Land and be changed by seeing the Bible come alive? I hope so.

Well, we are putting the suitcases in the car and getting the children ready to go.

Next stop – ATLANTA

~~In Messiah,

Vickilynn

Micah 6:8

Only 2 more days before we leave. Last minute jitters and concerns; “Did I pack enough toothpaste and underwear?” “Will I have enough clothes?” “What if I run out of stuff?” “What will the Customs agents do to my suitcase?” (I am packing things in bags that are pressed down to remove air and I am concerned they might open the bags and POP! everything will blow back up!!

On the good side, I am feeling so excited about seeing the Word of G-d come alive before our eyes and all the places we will experience. I can hardly believe that I will be walking in the same places as my precious L-rd Yeshua walked. I am reviewing the Scriptures that our pastor sent so I’ll be more familiar with the references of the places we are going.

I’ve done my shopping for the “necessary” items, such as power coverters, walking shoes, a carry-on bag, travel size toiletries etc. I have one bag fully packed and praise the L-rd, it it under the maximum weight. I have another full-size one to go and my carry on.

Tuesday afternoon, we are leaving here and driving to Atlanta to spend the night. Along the way, we will stop and have supper, all 25 of us. After supper, we will drive to the hotel and say our good-nights and get some sleep. We must be up by o’dark 30 and on the plane so, no night-owls here!

Then, from Atlanta, we fly into Newark. Now, I’m not at all sure WHY we stop in Newark, but that is how it is. And we get to spend a few hours there on layover before our flight leaves in the evening.

Once we leave Newark, we will fly 14 hours and arrive the next morning in Tel Aviv!! Praise G-d!! I do believe I will cry when we step on the land (if not before!)

I plan (L-rd willing) to keep this journal going every night and L-rd willing I’ll have some pictures to upload.

Please pray for our safety and for this trip to be life-changing!

Love and hugs!

In Messiah,
Vickilynn

Micah 6:8

I’m preparing for my 10-day trip to Israel and also preparing for my family to have my home-cooked foods and breads while I’m gone. I’m doing that for several reasons. One is that I care enough about their nutrition and health to make sure they are eating well in my absence. Another reason is that I shudder to think about the cost (not only monetarily but but physically as well) of eating fast food and junk food every day for 10 days for my husband and the children. YIKES! And the last, but certainly not least of my reasons is so that whenever my family enjoys of my lovingly-prepared meals while I am gone, they will think of me and remember how much I love them.

This past weekend, I spent about 8 hours baking breads for the freezer. First, I ground the wheat in my Retsel stone grain mill. Next I mixed and kneaded the dough in my Bosch. Then I shaped and baked 12 loaves of bread 12 rolls and 45 pizza swirls.

My family is so worth it!

For my 6-loaf whole wheat bread recipe, please go to the recipes link.

~~V